The Anti Social Blogger

This Christmas just passed. I spent mine alone. Purposely, it didn’t feel much like Christmas to me. For some reason, people always try to sabatoge my life, my existence. Why I wonder? Mostly because people want to control my life, control everything. Some dumb ass shit. But in the end, I control my life and what is going on.I can admit that for more of my life I have been an introvert. Never really wanting to be the life of the party. I like being out and in the middle of the action. I love being a part of the party; however I don’t party a lot. Love the energy of it but; I am so anti social. I always say to myself, “get out of the feeling, when in all actuality, I don’t wanna be so out there. Sometimes the energy isn’t in me. I love bein a part of the party but I really don’t want to. I do, however I don’t. And I always say, this will be a new beginning for me, and I never fully stay were I’m trying to achieve. Mentally, I say “girl do better” when I reaching for nothing.

Started back blogging again

So many thoughts, so many ideas. It is hard to follow through at tines. I always either forget or get side tracked. I wanted to creat a different personality, a diiferent side of me. A lot of times, I’m so anti social. I gotta do better. Better than what I have been. Not so much anti social, a little better. I always started out doing something but; thnn ends with so much more going on.Gotta make dure sure that people know something more about you 

Infatuation 

It’s there and can’t be explained, a certain love for a certain someone who holds a key to my heart. A love like no other. How did it get this way?  Who knows except me? There is a certain something that he does to mh heart when he looks certain way, when he smiles at me. Everything abt him amazes me. When I see his face,  I smile because my heart is in his hands, that startles me because I refused to be hurt but there is no way he would hurt me. Those eyes giving me reassurance that I can trust him holding on to my heart. He makes me smile with just a look. My heart is overjoyed when he makes me smile. I try to stay away and keep my distance because that is a slippery slope, truely a thin line that can and will get crossed very easy.