This Christmas just passed. I spent mine alone. Purposely, it didn’t feel much like Christmas to me. For some reason, people always try to sabatoge my life, my existence. Why I wonder? Mostly because people want to control my life, control everything. Some dumb ass shit. But in the end, I control my life and what is going on.I can admit that for more of my life I have been an introvert. Never really wanting to be the life of the party. I like being out and in the middle of the action. I love being a part of the party; however I don’t party a lot. Love the energy of it but; I am so anti social. I always say to myself, “get out of the feeling, when in all actuality, I don’t wanna be so out there. Sometimes the energy isn’t in me. I love bein a part of the party but I really don’t want to. I do, however I don’t. And I always say, this will be a new beginning for me, and I never fully stay were I’m trying to achieve. Mentally, I say “girl do better” when I reaching for nothing.
Today is January 1st. It started off kinda rocky however I always have to turn all of my hardships into triumphs. I sort of slept but got up to began my day. I love life. This is a new year. It will be rocky but I hv to make sure that all things work out for my good.This year will be better than last year.
So many thoughts, so many ideas. It is hard to follow through at tines. I always either forget or get side tracked. I wanted to creat a different personality, a diiferent side of me. A lot of times, I’m so anti social. I gotta do better. Better than what I have been. Not so much anti social, a little better. I always started out doing something but; thnn ends with so much more going on.Gotta make dure sure that people know something more about you
Sitting here at my mom’s house celebrating Christmas Day with my family.
Speaking my dream into existence while not really speaking, rather showing what I can do, what I am made of. Showing what I do rather than saying anything. My actions having so much to show my everything.
Speaking my dream into existence while not really speaking, rather showing what I can do, what I am made of. Showing what I do rather than saying anything. My actions having so much to show my everything. So
It’s there and can’t be explained, a certain love for a certain someone who holds a key to my heart. A love like no other. How did it get this way? Who knows except me? There is a certain something that he does to mh heart when he looks certain way, when he smiles at me. Everything abt him amazes me. When I see his face, I smile because my heart is in his hands, that startles me because I refused to be hurt but there is no way he would hurt me. Those eyes giving me reassurance that I can trust him holding on to my heart. He makes me smile with just a look. My heart is overjoyed when he makes me smile. I try to stay away and keep my distance because that is a slippery slope, truely a thin line that can and will get crossed very easy.