This Christmas just passed. I spent mine alone. Purposely, it didn’t feel much like Christmas to me. For some reason, people always try to sabatoge my life, my existence. Why I wonder? Mostly because people want to control my life, control everything. Some dumb ass shit. But in the end, I control my life and what is going on.I can admit that for more of my life I have been an introvert. Never really wanting to be the life of the party. I like being out and in the middle of the action. I love being a part of the party; however I don’t party a lot. Love the energy of it but; I am so anti social. I always say to myself, “get out of the feeling, when in all actuality, I don’t wanna be so out there. Sometimes the energy isn’t in me. I love bein a part of the party but I really don’t want to. I do, however I don’t. And I always say, this will be a new beginning for me, and I never fully stay were I’m trying to achieve. Mentally, I say “girl do better” when I reaching for nothing.