So just when I thought that I was tired, when I felt sleepy. And I turned the tv off and just focused on my music, I ended up staying up all night again. My aunt will be just getting up for work and will be looking at me crazy bc I am still woke and they went to sleep at 10:00. Some nights are just like that. I can’t help it at times. But I will try to sleep in a few, I just wanted to start documenting each time that stayed up. And of course #MS plays a big part in this. Goodnight again. #insomnia #sleepy #multiplesclerosis #relapsingremittingmultiplesclerosis #tired
Today, I had a day. It was the day for my EMG. I had to get to get a test for my nerves. Now I have not had a test for anything for quite a while. However my hearing is still up in the air. Well I am back to abt 65% of my hearing however; it isn’t back to 100% so my hearing isn’t fully back. I have been waiting. My neurologist told me to make an appointment to see an ENT Dr to make sure well, to see what was wrong with my hearing. But I had my ears were flushed in Urgent Care; who said that they didn’t see anything wrong with my ears. I figured as much, it is just the MS. Things like this happens I guess. This is life of someone with MS. Definitely weird but situations like this happens. However for how long tho? It sucks but what can you do but embrace it. Someone else, another MS patient has experienced this to me. I am ready for whatever else this brings. So here we go MS I am ready for whatever else you send way..
Right now I am tired, this #MS Life. I hv a lot going on. But that can’t stop my mission on living life. I hv got to continue to strive for excellence. Being me the best me is who I hv always continue to strive to be. Life, there is no ending on this road, just a continuance of success moves that need to be made so that I feel better abt how I plan to leave everything. Life, I can’t leave any stone unturned, any movements unmade bc always my best move is my next move. Are you ready to see for me to just show you what needs to be done. There is no waiting to do, only movements to be made.
This is a whole new year, I gotta keep it fuckin movin. This life is mine and mine alone. Doesn’t matter how easy it is for anybody else. I gotta make it livable for me. Sitting here thinking. I am not looking for anybody or anything. All of the thoughts that cross my mind often have me thinkin. Gotta make myself happy no matter what. Feeling like people think that they know what is best for me but they don’t know exactly what I want. I just want to be happy. And live a productive life. So now I life is not what I expected it to be and I am annoyed. What else can I do now? You aee stripping everything from me and you’re expecting me to live life happily. I have staeted back seeing the therapist Jeff again just to get a handle on my life, once again. Life has definitely handed me a few sour grapes but I have to just get everything in control. I am annoyed a lot by the going ons of certain ppl however I will not let that discourage me. You will not defeat me, this is my life and you can’t have mine.
My story has yet to be told, it ain’t easy telling a story such as mine. But in order to take in, to ingest all that need to be said at first at least all that I have to live the life that I am destined to live. Am I sad a lot? Not really, just some saddened days when I feel that life is getting the better of me. Why is my life going in this direction?
Here I sit thinkn how, thinkn why thinkn what the f**k am I go to do now? My mentality keeps me grounded as I question my own judgement for my accomplishments going on in my life. I definitely keep myself grounded as if I am afraid to fly as I should. I have always accused others of grounding me but in all actuality, it has always been me who was afraid to see myself fly. My life has not been a perfect one and I have always admired others for stepping out of their boxes in search of a higher place, a higher plateau never being afraid of reaching their next level to accomplish greatness. Have always watched others but still is afraid of doing more to get on to the next level of my own dopeness. What am I afraid of? Apparently I am afraid of being great. Afraid of being a dope ass person.But why? I have no reasoning nor answer for that. Why am I or shld I be afraid of spreading my own wings to fly. My own greatness is my gift ti the world. I am a talented muhf**ka. So now I have to get out of my own way and being to flap my wings and soar as high as I can. Soar fly with a smile on my face and keep it moving. #Peace💖
#Greatness #Dope #Love #FlyLikeAnEagle