The Facts About This Pregnancy With MS

Honestly, I didn’t see this coming. I never expected to be having a baby at this point in my life. As much as I avoided sex as much as possible. But as soon as I got in a comfortable position


this happens. Was I looking for or expecting for this to happen? No but; this is what is going on. So I gotta take the bitter with the sweet and continue to live my life. I’ve dealt with this struggle for at least yrs knowingly. I realize that the older I get, the more severe the complications get for me. At 24, I experienced my very first relapse which was

“Optic Neuritis” 😧😨👀

All I knew was that I woke one day and I couldn’t see well. My vision was distorted in both eyes. Both of my eyes had a film over them. I was scared of what was happening, I wasn’t sure of what to do. So I went to see the optometrist because I was super nervous. Once the optometrist told me after they ran a few tests. So you need to see a neurologist. The tests are telling us that you may have multiple sclerosis.

Multiple Sclerosis? What is that? Where did this come from?

Since I had my very first diagnosis in my 20’s, I learned a very small amount of information regarding this illness. I had never even heard of what a multiple sclerosis was. That was about 20 yrs ago. And I birthed children dealing with MS with no problem.

As of this yr, with this final and last pregnancy I can notice the changes. The Dr’s are more concerned with this pregnancy now. Well relapses are relapses and they happen almost everyday. I’ve learned to just come to terms with it because I AM A MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS SURVIVOR this is my life and has been for almost 20 yrs.

It’s weird to me, I guess the more Dr’s are doing research the more concerned they become about certain pregnancies with MS. My pregnancy was certainly questionable because I am over the typical baby making age because I am over the age of 40. I turned 41 this yr in May.

And then I have to add on the fact that I have MS adds more of a kinda danger sense because of the fact that I have MS and the relapses can be astronomical. Now l have had a ton of relapses including all of my trips and falls. I’ve broken my left arm and fell on my face scarring my lip and directly under my nose right on top of my lip.

Life with MS has always been a lot of ups and Downs with numerous unexpected events. Now that I am at the end of the road with this final pregnancy; I don’t expect for this new baby to be as big as the rest of my children because as I have been living life with this debilitating disease for almost half of my life and the older that I get the harder it is on my body. I can’t necessarily gain a lot of weight anymore and my body mass is shrinking. I have about a week left to go with this 🤰pregnancy and I can’t wait my baby to be born. He is healthy and happy and that means the world to me. #MultipleSclerosis #Disability #Baby #Kids #Happiness #Love #Life #Trips #Falls #Pregnancy #BrokenBones #Scars #BodyMass #WeightLoss #Shrinking #Writers

Dear God,

I have to apologize for my behaviors recently. There has been times in my life when I became afraid and feared what people on this earth would do to me. I can admit that these people had my faith shaken in fear of how they would affect my life in making up stories that were untrue.

I just have to apologize for being afraid and not just trusting your words. I know that I have to put my trust in you and also have unshakeable faith in you and all that you do.

Your undying love is all that I need and want. How can I ask for more than that?

I can not keep giving in to the negativity of others threats, especially when I know who you are to me. Thank you for always being you.

Thank you for giving me such a great inspirational friend in Quincy, that always reminds me that I need to make sure that I continue to put all my trust in you. I love you and I thank you.

Love your daughter,


#Faith #Believe #God #Trust

Memorial Day Shenanigans

Today is May 28, right? And I made the decision to go to my brother’s house to attend the dinner that was being made for everybody. It was ar least 93° outside. The heat was definitely draining. I made up my mind to go visit my siblings and eat dinner. Just to be able to visit with my younger siblings. That would have made me happy today.

Well my body let me know that I was doing way too much. I got off of the bus, crossed the street to take the 7 mile bus getting closer to my brothers place. After I crossed the street, the usual thing happened. I tripped over the air. And landed on my knee. Scared my knee as usual. Then came the pain and the blood. The hurt began. I winced slightly as I looked down at my knee and saw the blood form on my knee.

The pain frustrated me and at the fact I always get mad at the falls. Tripping of my feet and tripping over the air gets on my last nerves. I get so annoyed at this disability for this. However; I am passed the point of crying now. The pain hurts when happens but I can’t let this disability stop my life. So now regardless of the pain and the blood I have to keep living life. I can’t let “one monkey stop my show” regardles of how much pain it is. I learned how to pick myself up and continue on.

Gotta keep the show going. Been falling and tripping over my feet for over 20 years. My knees are completely scared and messed up but; oh well. This isn’t my first time or last time with the falls or the trips. This is one of the worse parts of this disability to have to endure.

#Disability #MultipleSclerosis #Falling #Tripping #Scars #Family #Fun #Dinner #Love #Heat #Hot #Writing #Decisions ##Walking


What to do differently?

Today is a day that I chose to think over all of my options before I make my choice. Today is a day that I want to do better for me because I deserve happiness. Today is always my favorite day only because I choose to begin again. My life’s purpose is to make myself happy. Your own happiness starts from within and it always begins with you. You can always start your day new with making better choices for yourself. I refuse to be unhappy in my life. This is the only life you were given. Why choosecbeing unhappy? Unhappiness doesn’t work well with my life. And I definitely wouldn’t recommend to you or anyone else. We are all given paths in life, why would you choose an unhappy road or an unhappy life? Choose Wisely!!!! #LifeSituations #LifeChoices #BeAMorePositiveYou #Writing

Fun on an ordinary Sunday

It was a Sunday and we all had nothing better to do, so we decided to go bowling to pass the time.. We went to the nearest bowling 🎳 alley. There was myself, Melody, Mary, Leon, Q and Terry. My whole goal was to have fun and that I did. Of course I did not win however I did accomplish my ultimate goal and that was to have fun.

#Fun #Sports #Bowling #Friends #SundayAfternoon

Walk MS 2018

Of course, I had to do do the walk. Only because being apart of something that means so much to me is always that important for me to do. The weather was great early in the day however it was supposed to rain later that day.

I had anticipated not going due to a few unforseen circumstances that had taken place earlier that week.

I was slightly saddened by the fact that I couldn’t participate. But thwn my roommates came together to arrange for us all to do the walk together.

That was a proud moment for me. There was Katie, her daughter Leonna, Leon and Q. This years walk was one for the books. I mistakenly took the longer route and almost walked 3 miles however my body stopped me at 2 1/2 miles.

That day I was able to share this great day and times with people that cared about me and my disability/illness. I had people there for me and that meant the world to me. I was grateful. The weather was great and there wasn’t rain at all, thankfully.

#MultipleSclerosisWalk #Disability #Illness #2018 #Love #Life #Friends #Family

Welcome Lazy Sunday!

I totally understand this blog. I actually often find myself doing the same things. I was in fact diagnosed about 7 years ago. However I find myself attempting to keep myself busy a lot. I started a few blogs a few years to write and keep my mind content to insure that I will keep myself busy. I am getting ready to started earning my first degree.


Lazy Sunday 2WOW, it is Sunday and I am not dreading Monday! On Sunday I am normally preparing my mind for another long work week but, today I do not have to prepare for anything! I do not have to worry about grocery shopping or getting laundry done by a certain time. Oh how I love a three-day weekend!! My goal for today is to do as little as possible. 

Even though I am planning to do as little as possible today, I still want to do just a few things but, they are things I enjoy doing not things I have to do. It is a beautiful day so I would really love to go to the restaurant I have been talking about. It would be a lovely Lazy Sundayday to either have lunch or dinner outside. I also want to read more of the book I started, James Patterson, Invisible. I…

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Speech less

Today I am so speechless. I went to see my youngest daughter at work. The way my life is going I am undecided on how my life will go. Right now, I am between houses. I am currently living with 2 of my aunts who live in an apartment. My aunt told me that she would not take care of a grown person. And so with that being, said you truly have to do everything for your self. Now I am going through a period that unbeknownst to my self of how do I being again. So I lost everything that I every knew as my life. I cried some. I started out life with a guy who was not so nice to me. I thought that he was a nice guy. Yeah and it starts as it usually does with a guy who always thinks that I am pretty. I met him one day and the next day I visited him and never left. At the time I was I was homeless and had no where to go. It was weird because I was homeless. I had no where to go.

Yet another day with hearing issues

      So dealing with MS I have learned to always expect

the unexpected. Dealing with this illness there are

always unexpected issues. It has been almost a month

that I have been experiencing hearing issues. Started

off with me noticing that my hearing was kinda messed

up. Afterwards I cleaned my ears, and after that didn’t

work. I went to urgent to have them clean my ears after

which they told me that they didn’t see anything wrong

with my hearing. That was the Dr. version but; for me

to speak to another person with MS and they told me

that it happens, it will get better soon. It likes to play

with both of my ears at times. Dealing with times like

this, I just have to stay positive I life could always be

worse. Now my hearing is worse on my left side

however; MS effects my right side more. It sucks to go

through these issues but it definitely is what it is. The

neurologist told me when I went to see him to go to the

E.N.T (Ear Nose &Throat) so I will be there next we to

hear them possibly give me an explanation on why I am

having issues with my hearing.

My Day Today


Today, I went to visit an old friend. Someone that I had been known   over 13+ years. I just know that I am so glad that I can know people for a long time and we are still really good friends. I walked for about a half of a mile today. Good exercise but doing so always drains the energy out of my body. That was my exercise for the day. Also, I got a chance to use my YouTube account again so that I can begin to make videos and start to make a profit from my account. I need to speak with someone to talk about doing so. I have had more than a few decent videos so, I feel that I am already on my way to do so. I get that I need to be more consistent so I am doing so now. Being that I have another chance to do better, here I am now. I got back here tonight and I am exhausted. But here I am. I took my meds and I am tired, ready for bed. I spoke with Tay tonight. I am satisfied with it. I spoke with Ant as well. I spoke with Maijah yesterday.  I talked to my mom today too. I’m guessing that today was a pretty good day, it ended well. Gotta do it all over again tomorr